Hi Reader,

Now that we’ve begun to identify some of your avoided emotions, we’re going to take this process to the next level.

This is the unlock that can create some incredibly powerful transformations.

Because whether you’re aware of it or not, your mind is constantly telling you stories about your emotions. But many of those stories aren’t true.

The Boy and the River

There was once a boy who was terrified of the river.

He had fallen in once as a child and remembered the cold shock, the pull of the current.

Ever since, he would tense up the moment he got near the water. His shoulders locked, his breath shortened, and his legs shook. Even standing on the bank felt unbearable.

One day, an old ferryman watched him shiver beside the shallows.

“The river isn’t touching you,” the ferryman said. “Yet look how much you suffer.”

The boy insisted the river was dangerous.

The ferryman stepped in, knee-deep, perfectly calm. “The water is cold,” he said, “but not cruel.”

He invited the boy to place one foot in. The boy hovered over the surface, muscles coiled, breath held tight. His foot barely grazed the water, yet the effort of bracing made his whole body tremble.

“Feel that?” the ferryman said. “The cold is nothing compared to your fight against it.”

The boy stood there for another ten minutes before he finally let his foot slip under.

The cold shock came. Sharp, clean, and alive.

The more he felt it, the more his muscles relaxed. Then it was just water.

The boy stood there, ankle-deep, enjoying the water as it rushed around him. The ferryman watched him and smiled.

The river moved past them both.

Lesson 3: Your “negative” emotions aren’t what you think they are

It’s not the emotion that hurts.

It’s your resistance to it that does.

For example:

• When you resist fear: It becomes chronic anxiety. You spin in worst-case scenarios, freeze when it’s time to act, and overthink every move.
• When you resist sadness: It becomes angst and numbness. You get stuck, stop trusting yourself, and lose touch with what matters.
• When you resist anger: It becomes self-criticism, passive aggression, or explosive anger AT someone. Over time, it can turn into depression (anger turned inwards).

Your emotions themselves aren't a problem. But when you repress them, resist them, or try to control them, they begin to distort. They stop being guides and start becoming "burdens."

When you learn to feel your emotions without resistance, you begin to realize that they hold the keys to your freedom.

Feeling your fear dissolves anxiety. It’s not the panic or overwhelm that we often associate it with. We discover that fear is just excitement without the breath. If we feel it fully, it can be an exuberance for life.

Feeling your sadness unlocks vitality. We've all cried and seen that at the end of a good cry, when we don't judge ourselves for how we cried or judged ourselves for feeling sad, we feel much better.

Feeling your anger transforms stuckness and reduces self-criticism. Unresisted, it’s not the chaotic, destructive force we often associate with anger. It is a clarity and determination. It points you to what you care about. Because you don't get angry about anything you don't care about.

The same is true for every emotion that you avoid feeling. Today, we’re going to experiment with stepping into the river together.

Big Love,

Joe

PS. Missed previous Prep Guide emails? Read them here:

• ​Your Great Decisions Prep Guide: Intro​
• ​Lesson One: The Golden Algorithm​
• ​Lesson Two: How to find your emotional blindspots​