Hi Reader,

Hi there,

Last spring I worked with a COO who prided herself on being “low-maintenance.”

Twelve-hour days, skipped lunches, and redeye flights—whatever the company needed, she delivered. Unsurprisingly, she was on the verge of burnout, and even then she felt that she had to maintain a strong front for her team.

Yet her exhaustion was palpable, and the team was mirroring that energy. Productivity was down, and morale was low.

In a coaching session, I encouraged her to share her experience with the team. After some reluctance, she finally held a team meeting and got up in front of everyone.

“I’ve been feeling stretched thin,” she admitted at a team Zoom meeting. “And I haven’t been taking care of myself the way I need to. I want to change that and also make sure we’re all supporting each other better.”

This simple act of honesty opened the door for others to share their own challenges. Within minutes the Zoom chat flickered to life of folks sharing their experiences too, many of which sounded just like hers. Meanwhile, people began standing up and offering to help and fill in where possible.

By week’s end they’d instituted “refuel hours” (an hour sectioned for only deep work where no one could schedule meetings or send emails), rotated late-night support, and added a standing agenda item: What do you need this week to thrive?

The paradox was clear: the moment their “low-maintenance” leader allowed herself to share her needs, the whole system regained energy.

Months later, the COO was working less hours and had more time to be strategic. And their department was able to accomplish far more with less resources.

For those of us who have grown up self-reliant, this sounds very counterintuitive. So I’ll give you another example, from the book Reinventing Organizations.

In 1990, orders at FAVI — a French auto-parts foundry — collapsed after the First Gulf War. CEO Jean-François Zobrist climbed onto a shop-floor soapbox and laid the numbers bare: there wasn’t enough work to keep everyone busy, and the obvious (traditional) fix was to fire the 80 or so “temps” there.

One operator shouted, “Why don’t we all work only three weeks this month, take three weeks’ pay, and keep the temp workers?

We can do the same next month if we have to.” Heads nodded. They put it to an immediate vote, and the entire factory agreed to a temporary 25% pay cut rather than sacrifice colleagues. Machines were running again less than an hour later.

Your needs are your company's needs

As a leader, your needs best reflect the needs of your team. No other person’s are as good a representation of what your team requires to thrive.

And speaking up for your own needs isn’t selfish — it’s one of the most powerful ways you can support your community.

Individual wellbeing is a reflection of group wellbeing. If somebody is distressed, the group can feel it. And there are most likely many others who can feel the thing causing the distress.

Think of it this way: if you’re feeling overwhelmed, chances are others on your team are too. By naming it, you bring the hidden dynamics into the light, where they can be addressed collectively. Suppressing your needs, on the other hand, can create a culture of avoidance, where discomfort festers and solutions remain out of reach.

Also, giving your team the chance to help you gives them a chance to help the whole team. It creates a sense of purpose and meaning, and allows people to feel valuable—something we all want to feel while we’re working.

This means that when you as a leader voice your needs, you’re not just advocating for yourself, you’re advocating for your team while modeling honesty and connection.

Go deeper: Listen to our podcast on the difference between owning your needs and selfishness

What is Selfishness? Nov 19 · The Art of Accomplishmen... 25:19   ​

Big Love,

Joe

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