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Hi Reader,

Last month, I worked with a founder who had just closed a Series B.

To the outside world, he looked like a rocket ship. But inside, he was hollowing out.

He told me he couldn’t shake the pressure that it was all on his shoulders. He’d stopped sleeping. He had to keep pushing. His success depended on it.

When I asked him what he was afraid of, he went to 20 tactical things.

Then I asked him to slow way down.

He paused, and then he went there:

“If I slow down, it could all fall apart. And if it all falls apart, there’s no one coming to save me.”

“I’ll be helpless.”

The One Emotion Every High-Performer Avoids

Almost every high-powered CEO I know struggles with two issues:

1. Feeling alone in the pressure
2. That eventually it all falls on them

It doesn’t matter what industry they’re in or how many people they manage. No matter how successful they become or how many decisions they get right, there’s this feeling they keep trying to outrun:

Helplessness.

This avoidance didn’t come out of nowhere. For most, there’s a moment they can trace back to, if they slow down long enough to look. Maybe it was an alcoholic dad. Maybe it was growing up poor, watching your parents juggle bills and stress and late shifts. Maybe it was something harder to name—emotional neglect, invisibility, or that you couldn’t be loved for who you were, only for your accomplishments.

At some point, something happened that overwhelmed your capacity to cope, and you realized: I am on my own.

This may look like a strength from the outside. And in a way, it is. It is what propels so many people to achieve remarkable things: Build companies from nothing, perform under pressure, push forward when others get frozen.

But it’s also the thing that needs to be felt and destroyed if you want to be a 10x leader.

There is a moment in the journey of every truly great leader when they turn around and stop trying to outrun the very feeling that built their strength.

A moment when they stop managing their inner world with the same control they use to manage their company. And that’s when your capacity multiplies by 10x.

Because here’s the counterintuitive thing: When we feel our helplessness, we actually become more capable.

You get a lot more done when you're not trying to control everything.

You create space for trust, creativity, and shared ownership. That’s the deeper intelligence of helplessness. It’s not here to shut you down. It’s here to connect you—to yourself, and to the people you’re leading.

Big Love,

Joe

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